Under My Breath
by aerisofthewhite
Summary: For some reason, his stern gaze makes her feel safe :-: RianXMairae 50 themes, 1 sentence each. Age of the Five trilogy, takes places prior to PotW.


_Age of the Five_ trilogy copyright of Trudi Canavan. I make no money from this.

(Inspired by the line in VotG "Rian and Mairae were absent".)

**-**** -**

**(But I was screaming) **_Under my breath_

#01 – Ring

She tries not to stare (mouth agape) as the White's fingers form the customary Circlian symbol over her.

#02 - Hero

He looks down at the young girl with a mixture of bewilderment (he expected the long awaited House child to be older and taller and not so fragile or _pretty) _and respect- and it startles him for a second (during which he forgets his years and rank and just about everything else) that her quick glance up conveys so much awe.

#03 - Memory

She can't quite get over tripping over her too-long circ as she passes him (meaning to bow) and blushes red every time she sees him for the rest of that week.

#04 - Box

He realises he's made it all worse when he calls for a servant to bring her something to stand on, to help her reach the Altar.

#05 - Run

She could take the criticism and the sabotage and the snide comments about little rich girls without blinking, (mostly because she's still besting them all) but when he smiles down at her like that- making her feel two feet tall and so naive- it makes her want to flee this place.

#06 - Hurricane

The wind batters against the windows of the Tower but over the gale- somewhere far below- he thinks he hears a whimper.

#07 – Wings

Growing up is all about getting better and spreading your wings- but do the other priests really have to stare at her like that?

#08 - Cold

His expression hardens as he passes the new priests tripping over each other for a glance at the pretty young priestess- and tells himself Dyara was right to be cautious.

#09 – Red

It takes him a dazed minute to realise what they're planning as he passes the Sanctuary late at night- but then he's furious.

#10 - Drink

She believes them when they tell her it's just water (she sniffs something else but doesn't dare to contradict them).

#11 - Midnight

The night gong is sounding when she comes to- somehow heard over the alarmed yelps and strikes hitting walls and falling bodies.

#12 - Temptation

It's all he can do to just pick her up and leave them alive (but it is not his place to extract justice).

#13 - View

She opens one hazy eye and for some reason, his stern gaze (eyes forward, mouth grim) makes her feel safe.

#14 - Music

Her confused semi-drunken croak of "Chaia?" is the sweetest sound he's heard all night (it almost but not quite makes him laugh).

#15 – Silk

He lays her down on his spare bed- and the feel of silken sheets and pillows sends her straight to sleep (forgetting the night's proceedings or the fact that she's in _his_ chambers).

#16 - Cover

He watches her for a moment before he realises he can't think to leave her alone and unprotected.

#17 - Promise

"I'll come sooner next time" he whispers over her unconscious form- but then takes the words back, and pledges never to let it happen at all.

#18 – Dream

She wakes before the sun rises with a splitting headache and raw throat, and feels herself hauled forcefully from her reverie as she realises where she is and who is making that awful snoring noise beside her.

#19 - Candle

She quickly untangles herself from the bedding, stumbles out and tries to find her way through the Temple by candle-light (hoping to the gods that no one sees where she came from).

#20 - Talent

"She has a great deal of potential," he says, and then unexpectedly starts and looks down.

#21 - Silence

Dyara watches him, nods and says nothing (but he thinks she notices everything).

#22 - Journey

It seems like she's come so far from the manor in Somrey, as she accepts her High Priestess's robes, but then she looks up at his stern, distant face on Juran's right and she sees how much further she still has to go.

#23 - Fire

For some reason, it makes her feel angry, like she can't be considered an equal (even though their dedication could hardly be compared).

#24 - Strength

Somehow he struggles to accept that she's stronger now and no longer needs his protection (in his mind, she's still the scrawny little initiate that couldn't see through a shroud of hair).

#25 - Mask

She's surprised that they can talk together in public and he can not notice her erratic thoughts- or maybe he's just gotten used to being courteous and pretending not to hear people's innermost feelings.

#26 - Ice

But then the coldness of his stare tells her he's not being polite- it just disgusts him and he doesn't want to acknowledge it aloud (and she knows it's time to let go of this childish hope).

#27 - Fall

His mouth drops as he sees her face (and _so _much more) in the mind of a bemused priest one morning and he's suddenly overwhelmed with an urge to ram into the man.

#28 - Forgotten

When she's left heart-broken and alone again, she tells herself the next one will be different- will help her forget about him (and prays to the gods it's true).

#29 - Dance

She twirls and spins and laughs as she dances with the young Gernian prince, convincing herself she's delighted to be receiving the honour (and telling herself he's not watching her).

#30 - Body

He taps her shoulder and asks for the dance and watches as she smiles and turns red all the way down to her neckline (and feels this is a big mistake, but it's too late now).

#31 - Sacred

There's something precious and mystical and seraphic (almost godly) about her as he spins her back in (circ wrapping around her, hair tossing, eyes alight) - like he shouldn't be able to touch her, like she could shatter or disappear if he pulled too hard.

#32 - Farewells

The dance shouldn't end (she almost wishes it wouldn't) - but it does and he suddenly seems anxious to be parted from her.

#33 - World

The world seems to shrink and enlarge and disappear completely as he leaves her with her friends and returns to being the silent, aloof White at the front of the room, sitting beside Dyara (who has a most ridiculous suppressed smile on her face).

#34 - Formal

His detached nod to her the next day tells her nothing has changed (but then, did she expect it to?).

#35 - Fever

Neither plague not famine can stop the gods from selecting their next Chosen (but he almost wishes, for her sake, they had left it for a mere week- she just looks too fragile and un-immortal as she struggles to stand before them, sweating and not-too conscious).

#36 - Laugh

When she hears them call out her name, all she can think to do is laugh (and barely contains the desire as she staggers forward).

#37 - Lies

He'd be lying if he said he wasn't it wasn't a blessing (but he should be happy for her achievement or for the gain of a new ally, not because now, he won't have to watch her grow old and die).

#38 - Forever

It strikes him- as they place the ring on her finger- that he'll have to control this feeling within himself for the rest of eternity (but can't think it isn't worth it).

#39 - Overwhelmed

It's only four days later, as she's recovered and staring at herself in the gilded mirror- preparing to meet one of the many Gernian ambassadors- that it hits her this is happening (she can't figure out why the thought makes her fall to her bed and weep).

#40 - Whisper

He storms into her rooms to find her curled in a ball- and instantly loses the indifferent superior attitude he's been projecting over the past few days, awkwardly putting an arm around her (this _isn't_ his speciality) and murmurs that the gods' believe she is right for the job.

#41 - Wait

She glances up at him (trying not to laugh at this unexpected personality change and the uncomfortable look on his face) and, in an impulsive lunatic pressure-induced moment, decides that it's been long enough.

#42 - Talk

It's strange to hear the words aloud (he's heard them in her mind so often) but it's harder to hear the desperation in them- especially as realisation of what she is saying hits her face.

#43 - Search

She examines his face- looking for _any_ sign- but it's almost unreadable (except maybe a momentary glint of astonishment, that she knows can't be good).

#44 – Hope

He sees the hope in her eyes and wants to say something different (he's never been able to bear seeing her injured and it hurts to even consider those words)- but he thinks of the vow he made to the gods when he became one of their Chosen, and knows that any hope of a unity is an impossible one.

#45 - Eclipse

The sun seems to disappear as he tells her he doesn't love her (because, for a moment there, she though- hoped- she was good enough for him now).

#46 - Gravity

She just wants to collapse after he leaves- but then Juran walks in (no doubt sent up by _him_) and tells her the people are waiting; and it's duty first (as always).

#47 - Highway

_Life goes on,_ he thinks, raising his head and refusing to meet her eyes the morning after- but privately, he wishes her mind was unblocked (just so he could tell how she really feels about this one) and that her present lover's _wasn't_.

#48 - Unknown

Her face stays aloof and distant and he can't quite work it out (he's sure she learned it from him).

#49 – Lock

She tells herself that it's for the best and promises that she will get through this- that she will contain this and forget about it until it's not there anymore (because their lives are for the gods in the end and the gods won't let her suffer for long).

#50 - Breathe

It's hard to keep going on like this- hard to accept that this is the way the gods ordained his life to be- but he feels he can do it if he just takes each day, one at a time (and keeps this under his breath).

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[A/N:- Written a while ago for the 1sentence community on LJ- because I just found the AotF section! Fun to write and nice to ease myself into what is very much a crack pairing. Review if you like!]


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